We just returned from the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium in Washington, DC. We took workshops and heard from the top experts in our field. One of my favorite day-long workshops was with Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight-Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, on "Harnessing the Power of Emotion."

Here are some of the points that Dr. Johnson made:

  • Marriage is a series of connections and disconnections. The essential problem in relationships is "emotional disconnection."
  • Romantic love is not constant; we fall in and out of love throughout our relationship.
  • Relationships are based upon "attachment," our survival code. Historically, if we called and no one came, our survival was threatened. We look to our partner for connection and protection. Read Dr. Johnson’s explanation of attachment.
  • In relationships, people are fighting for their lives, and asking their partner: "Are you there for me? Do you see me? Am I lovable?"
  • We are wired to be in relationships and are all terrified of rejection and abandonment.
  • The quality of a person’s relationship is the number one predictor of the chance of a second heart attack after someone has had a first.

We’ll be sharing more with you next week.

If you are in a relationship that hurts and feel disconnected, have difficulties communicating, and/or are experiencing a crisis, we can help. Call us at 410-363-2825 or email info@relationshipswork.com.