One of the biggest complaints we hear from couples is that they’ve lost the passion in their relationship. They may love each other, be best friends, enjoy spending time together, and love being a family, but their sexual desire or attraction has gone missing.

Balancing emotional and erotic intimacy is one of the most difficult tasks in a long-term partnership. In monogamous relationships, our emotional drive thrives on safety and security: knowing everything about each other; feeling close; having familiar routines. Paradoxically, this is at odds with our sexual drive which thrives on: mystery; the unknown; taking risks; the intrigue of learning something new; having distance to create longing for a partner; seeing them as a separate individual outside the relationship and family unit.

In her video, How to Find the Sweet Spot Between Love & Desire, internationally-renowned relationship expert, Esther Perel, talks about this contradiction and how to manage it. This is a must watch.