In long-term relationships, it is likely that familiarity will breed sexual boredom. Most couples accept this without question and don’t realize it does not have to be this way. The following tips will light up your sexual connection!

1) Dare to have a frank discussion about your sex life – What is most pleasurable? What would you like more of? What fantasies do you have? What turns you on?

2) Forget the orgasm – Pick a place you wouldn’t normally have sex and make out with your clothes on – no orgasms allowed.

3) Try something new – Be playful and adventurous: change the usual place, position, time of day. Buy an outfit or try some sex toys. Flirt on the phone.

4) Not in the mood, do it anywayResearch shows that for about 50% of the population, desire doesn’t “just happen.” If you wait for lustful feelings to appear, you will have less frequent sex. Experts agree that for many people, once you get started, erotic desire will kick in and you will enjoy lovemaking.

Great sex is nourishment for the soul and energizes the relationship bond. Studies show that married couples who prioritize sex are happier than couples in low-sex marriages. And, the more sex couples have, the happier they are.

Erotic intimacy balanced with emotional intimacy is “heaven on earth.”

We recommend the following books to help deepen you and your partner’s sexual connection:

Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style: Sharing Desire, Pleasure, and Satisfaction
Barry and Emily McCarthy

The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion
Gina Ogden

Getting the Sex You Want
Tammy Nelson

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Esther Perel

The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He’s Lost Desire
Michele Weiner Davis

Some of our couples read a chapter at a time to each other – a great way to spend quality time together and connect what you are learning to your own relationship.

Do you have any tips to share with us about how you spice up your erotic connection?