Want to reboot your marriage? Take a minute to think about how much time you spend together as a couple. Yes, that means just the two of you. As a matter of fact, document how much time you are alone together over the next week. You may be surprised.

Here’s what the Office for National Statistics found:

  • On average, couples spend two to two and a half hours a day together, including weekends.
  • What couples do during that time is watch tv, eat and do housework.

That time together did not involve talking to or engaging each other; i.e., communicating and connecting.

When couples come to see us for marriage or couples counseling, we ask them about time alone together. Most couples report a small window of time together at night, during the week, after the kids go to bed. They also say by that time they are exhausted, have a need to “veg out,” and certainly are not in the mood for communicating, or having sex. Many couples don’t even go to bed together.

When we ask about time together on weekends and time spent on dates, many couples say, “We don’t do dates.” The excuses are no babysitter, exhaustion, too many family obligations. In our culture many of us have created child-centered families and neglect time and space for our marriages.

For a marriage to survive and thrive, it is vital to nurture and feed the relationship during all the years together. If you wait till the kids grow up, the connection may have starved to death or slipped away without you even realizing it.

So, what is a couple to do?

Here is an article with practical ideas from John Gottman, Ph.D.:

4 Ways Parents Can Balance Couple Time and Family Time


Your relationship deserves the highest level of support. Relationship Experts, Bob and Lori Hollander are committed to helping individuals and couples build connection and deepen bonds in a world that often makes it difficult.

Call them at 410-363-2825 or email them today, info@relationshipswork.com.


Photo credit Maria Dubova on Canva