image 5 practical strategies to greater intimacy

These simple strategies will help deepen your connection with your partner. Try one or do them all.

1) Read the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

You can also take the Love Language quiz online to discover yours.

Put your love languages in order from most important to least important. Spend time sharing your lists with your partner and specifically describe what that love language “looks like” from your perspective. Give your partner explicit examples.

Keep each other’s list, review them daily, and do something every day to express the gift of love.

Love your partner the way he/she wants to receive love, not the way you would choose to give it.

2) Ask “What will I do today to show my partner that I love him/her?”

It is truly the little things that make a big difference. It could be a small love note or a 10-second hug, a compliment or a romantic text message.

It’s the small drops of love every day that fill up our love tanks and keep us engaged and “in love” with our partners.

3) Create a gratitude list for each other and share them.

Write a list of responses to the sentence: “I am grateful that…” Be specific. Read them to each other. Keep them posted on your refrigerator and continue to add to them every day.

It’s been shown that people who focus on gratitude lead happier lives.

4) Reminisce about all the good times you have had together, or the funny things you recall.

Turn off the technology. Have a cup of coffee or tea together. Take turns sharing what you remember. Looking at pictures together may spark your memories. Take turns saying, “I remember when…”

You may be surprised at the things you haven’t thought about in a long time, or the moments your partner recalls that you forgot about.

5) Use sentence starters to let each other know what makes you feel connected.

Describe the words, actions and behaviors your partner does that have a positive impact on you.

Here are some sentence starters:

  • I feel close/connected when you…
  • I feel trusting when you…
  • I feel loved when you…
  • I feel heard when you…
  • I feel romantic when you…

You can add your own: I feel fill in the blank when you…

Share these with each other one at a time. Take turns being speaker and listener.

What practical strategies do you use to deepen intimacy? We would love to hear your thoughts and ideas about this on our Facebook page.

If you are in a relationship that hurts and feel disconnected, have difficulties communicating, and/or are experiencing a crisis, Bob and I can help. Call us at 410-363-2825 or email

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