photo Relationships Work new years resolutions recharge relationship

Bob and I gave up making New Year’s resolutions many moons ago. There are plenty of studies that say most people don’t maintain those good intentions for more than a few weeks.

I like to think of New Year’s as more of a reminder that the days may go slow, but the years fly by. It’s an opportunity to take stock of what I want to do more of in the coming year. I signed up for exercise classes since I know I won’t exercise unless I make a commitment. What is it that you want to do more of this year?

New Year’s is also a great time to take stock of your relationship. What went well last year? What is it that you’d like to recharge this coming year? It could be:

  • Improving communication
  • Scheduling more quality time together
  • Enjoying more fun date nights
  • Having more sex
  • Exploring new romantic ideas
  • Increasing emotional intimacy
  • Appreciating each other more
  • Building greater trust
  • Being more present in your relationship

Bob and I keep a bucket list of the ways we want to create more joy in our relationship. Last summer we traveled on our first river cruise, we got tickets to the symphony, and worked together to downsize, simplify our home and reduce the clutter.

This year we started off by scheduling yoga classes together for fun, exercise and relaxation. We will continue adding more items to our list.

You too can make improvements within your relationship. It starts with an authentic conversation between you and your partner about what areas you want to work on for 2019.

Each of you should have a turn to express yourself without judgment by the other. Make room for each of you to share your thoughts and desires. The next step is to figure out how to actualize your desires. Brainstorm ideas and work as a team.

Many of the couples we see have not focused on recharging their marriages or relationships and put them on the back burner. One day they wake up and realize they are unhappy, or they start talking to others about their feelings and end up having affairs.

It’s up to you and your partner to keep the emotional and sexual fires burning. Left alone, love will wither and fade. Love and desire require daily feeding and nurturing if you want it to last a lifetime. You and your partner need to:

Consciously create the relationship you want every day.

It doesn’t take a grand gesture to make a loving relationship. It is the small everyday acts of love – a long hug, a compliment, an expression of gratitude, a love note – that matter.

Work as a team to confront your challenges as a couple.

When crises occur in relationships, you choose how to manage them. Use them as an opportunity to build a stronger bond.

Dare to recharge your relationship.

Marriages that become routine may lead couples to disconnect and drift emotionally. Be adventurous and brave with each other. Try something new together. Have the courage to spice up your relationship. Try something new sexually. Go to a “toy store.” Plan a night or a weekend away at a hotel or a bed and breakfast. You can create the sparks that will keep your relationship charged.

If you’d like to recharge your relationship this year, Bob and I can help. Call us at 410-363-2825 or email

Photo credit Jamie Street on Unsplash