A Breakthrough Formula for Connection

“What happens when people open their hearts?…They get better.” – Haruki Murakami
Sam, like many men we’ve worked with, wouldn’t open up. Expressing feelings or being vulnerable was not in his repertoire, so he thought. He reluctantly came to see us.

Ellen, his partner, was feeling unloved; she talked about separating. […]

How Men Can Develop More Empathy for Women

“When you start to develop your powers of empathy and imagination, the whole world opens up to you.” Susan Sarandon
I, Bob Hollander, have had the occasion to experience many things in the course of my life; but the one I am about to share proved to be a real […]

Listen In: How Two Relationship Therapists Used Time-Out

Lori was preparing to have 23 people at our home for her step-dad’s 90th birthday. Being the organized person she is, the plans were meticulously laid out in her head – and on her lists. The help she needed from me was to execute certain critical tasks in preparation […]

The Secret to Effectively Communicating Your Needs

Which one of these statements would you rather hear?

“I’ve asked you a thousand times to clean up after yourself. I’m not your mother,” OR “I would appreciate you remembering to put your dishes in the dishwasher.”

“All you do is yell and complain that I never do anything right. You […]

7 Steps to Resolve Conflict with Conscious Communication

When couples communicate during conflict their strong emotions often derail the conversation. Accusations and blame beget defensiveness, and the argument escalates from there. Voices get raised; hurtful statements are hurled; emotional temperatures accelerate. Afterwards, people withdraw and separate.

What happens next is the pivotal point that can make or break […]