It is not that most men fail to make this a special day. Some pull out all the stops and make it a time of unique closeness and connection. We men can display a love we do indeed feel so deeply inside.
But for VALENTINE MEN, when “V-Day” wears thin and concludes there emerges a great danger as our normal routine descends upon us. For after the sudden outpouring out of our hearts and upsurge of “genuine and real connection,” there occurs a corresponding fading of this closeness just as quickly.
Why after all our efforts, care, diligent preparation, and attentiveness, bringing us to the very love we so deeply crave – – why then do we withdraw?
I think the answer may lie with VALENTINE MEN falling back upon their penchant for habitually constructing and maintaining invisible walls throughout the year.
Why do we do this to ourselves and to our partner? Why do we need to continue to erect “castles of separation” serving only as our prison. Could it be our fear of what continued closeness and vulnerability may bring?
For those who have never experienced such a world – both its promises and its perils – this concern really makes a lot of sense, for such a world may seem quite alien and unpredictable.
But we shall never really know what such a world has to offer, unless VALENTINE MEN face these fears of intimacy. Do we have the courage to experience what exists just beyond our fears?
Hopefully our partners will continue to believe in us – to comprehend our difficulties when it comes to feelings and vulnerability. Hopefully they will remain steadfast in their dreams; and hopefully our psychological absence will not too quickly wither our relationship and drive our partner to a place from which they will not return, despite our most futile efforts.
VALENTINE MEN actually tread on very thin ice, and remain unaware of terrible misfortune that may be fast approaching.
We must overcome our apprehensions and reverse our direction “post V-Day.” We must endeavor to preserve the connection we have broached and utilize it as an essential foundation for deeper connection throughout the year. And if we want to persist in our quest for this deeper connection, we must continue to do “connecting things.”
So VALENTINE MEN, I challenge you to maintain and reinforce your efforts, to honestly look deeply inward, to proactively affirm your love by making your partner the priority which she truly is. But, needless to say, this will not be easy, for no relationship worth keeping ever is, and it is a “narrow and demanding road that leads back to your partner.”
To Your Relationship,
Lori & Bob