5 Strategies to Pick Yourself Up When You're Feeling Down
Holidays got you down? Too much to do, not enough time. Stress. Shopping. Hustle. Parties. Overeating. Over drinking. Family drama, illness or loss. You are not alone.
Taking time to rest, renew, and refresh yourself isn't wasted time.Recharge. Choose what energizes you.- Melody Beattie
If the holidays happen to fall at a time when there is no family crisis and life is smooth, it's easy to enjoy the holidays. As you know, that isn't always the case. There is so much we have no control over. When times are tough, it's easy to slide down the negativity slope or even into depression.What can we do to pick ourselves up when we're feeling down?When this happens to me, and I have had a lot of practice in my lifetime, I remind myself to "walk my talk." I do what I would tell my clients to do.
I start by asking myself these questions:
What am I surrounding myself with that is positive and negative?Whatever we focus on will influence our moods.
Am I watching, or talking too much about the news and all the pain in the world?We often want to change things we have no control over.
Am I focusing on my worries about our "adult" kids?The worry doesn't end just because they grow up.
Am I thinking a lot about health or financial issues?We spend a lot of time worrying about the future and anticipating what may happen.
Am I feeling alone and disconnected from Bob?It's common to withdraw from a partner when you are down.
OR
Am I thinking about what I have, what I'm grateful for?
Am I taking one day at a time, changing the things I can and letting go of the things I have no control over?
Am I staying present in the moment and practicing mindfulness?
Am I exercising? Listening to soothing music? Meditating? Doing yoga?
When I answer these questions, and realize I'm getting caught up in negativity, worry, anticipatory anxiety, helplessness, and disconnection, I know I'm the only one who can turn it around.
I recognize what I have to do:
Get back to the things in life that fill me with joy, peace, relaxation.
Take care of my physical, mental and emotional health.
Call and actually talk to friends instead of texting them.
Go on a date with Bob.
Focus on my gratitude – for the positive things in my life today: my health, my family, my work with clients; All that brings me joy.
When you are feeling negative or down, ask yourself what you are focusing on. What are you surrounding yourself with?
Then use these 5 strategies to pick yourself up when you're feeling down:
1) Choose Your Focus.
Make a choice to put your focus on what you do have and what you can control. Write a list of all the things you are grateful for. Read it every day.
2) Move Toward the Positive.
Block out things that fill you with negativity, instead of allowing them to draw you in. Choose to surround yourself with the positive, good news. Do random acts of kindness.
3) Practice Self-Care.
Take care of your body, mind and spirit. Think about and do the activities that bring peace to you – exercise, relaxation techniques, guided imagery, reading, meditating, listening to soothing music, going into nature.
4) Be Present.
Stop focusing on the "what ifs." Whatever life brings you, you will deal with it. We find our resilience when we are tested. Trust that you will handle whatever comes.
5) Connect.
Most importantly, connect – with friends, family, partners, children, neighbors, the cashier at the grocery store, the postman. This is the best medicine. Being happy in this life is really all about relationships and the people we connect with in the world. We are wired to bond and connect.Wishing you and your family connection, love, good health and joy.
Your relationship deserves the highest level of support. Relationship Experts, Bob and Lori Hollander are committed to helping individuals and couples build connection and deepen bonds in a world that often makes it difficult.Call them at 410-363-2825 or email them today, info@relationshipswork.com.
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