Does My Partner Have a Personality Disorder?
image does my partner have a personality disorder
When it comes to power in relationships, loving someone who has a "personality disorder" is a challenge. You’ve likely heard of personality disorders, but chances are, you may not know what that really means.The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) and the American Psychiatric Association describes the meaning of a personality disorder:
Personality is the way of thinking, feeling and behaving that makes a person different from other people. An individual's personality is influenced by experiences, environment (surroundings, life situations) and inherited characteristics. A personality disorder is a way of thinking, feeling and behaving that deviates from the expectations of the culture, causes distress or problems functioning, and lasts over time.
There are 10 specific types of personality disorders... Common to all personality disorders is a long-term pattern of behavior and inner experience that differs significantly from what is expected. The pattern of experience and behavior begins by late adolescence or early adulthood... Without treatment, the behavior and experience is inflexible and usually long-lasting. The pattern is seen in at least two of these areas:
Way of thinking about oneself and others
Way of responding emotionally
Way of relating to other people
Way of controlling one’s behavior
The personality disorders we most commonly hear about are Antisocial, Narcissistic and Borderline.
An antisocial person disregards or violates the rights of other people. They may lie or steal or be abusive without conscience.A narcissistic person thinks they are better and more important than others; they come across as entitled or arrogant. They have little, if any, empathy for the feelings of others, including their family. They exaggerate their own importance.A person who is borderline has unstable relationships with others, lacks a strong sense of "self," feels empty, has difficulty displaying feelings appropriately, especially anger, and is fearful of being abandoned.Being in a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder is difficult. They may have chronic patterns of behavior that are hurtful and confusing. You many not understand why they think and respond the way they do. For example, they may get intensely angry at something you do, or act impulsively. They may see the world in black and white, and have trouble seeing gray. They may be self-centered and not understand others' perspectives and feelings.While this description may sound hopeless, that is not the case. These behaviors and ways of thinking are on a spectrum. Some people are affected less intensely than others. Therapy can help, if your partner will go, especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectic Behavioral Therapy. Medication can lessen the underlying depression or anxiety. You can also seek therapy to figure out the best ways to respond to your partner's thoughts, feelings and behaviors.If you suspect your partner may have a personality disorder, it's best to go to a professional and discuss the situation. We are here to help.
We want to share the following books* that address being in a relationship with a partner who has a personality disorder:
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality DisorderPaul Mason, MS and Randi KregerThe Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living with Someone Who Has Borderline Personality DisorderRandi KregerI Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline PersonalityJerold Kreisman and Hal StrausThe Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological AbuseDebbie MirzaBecoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying YourselfShahida ArabiThe Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt UsRoss RosenbergIn Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative PeopleGeorge Simon, Ph.D.POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional AbuseShahida ArabiStop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with LifeMargalis Fjelstad---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you are in a relationship that hurts and feel disconnected, have difficulties communicating, and/or are experiencing a crisis, Bob and I can help. Call us at 410-363-2825 or email info@relationshipswork.com.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Photo by Valerii Sidelnykov on 123RF*Relationships Work is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com At no additional cost for you, your purchase helps support our work in bringing you 360° of relationship support.