10 Traits That Show He Is Trustworthy

Learning to trust Bob, and every other man I ever dated, was hard for me after my parents' divorce. At the impressionable age of twelve, I found out my father, who I loved and cherished, betrayed my mother. The father that I thought I knew came crashing off his pedestal. I had always admired and looked up to my dad and trusted that he would be there for our family. My trust in the most significant man in my life was shattered in an instant.As I began to date and have relationships, I worried. Could I trust him? How do I know if he is telling the truth? What if he cheats on me? How do I trust my gut to make these judgments? I kept my guard up and had a hard time being vulnerable.In my 20s I realized I needed help with trust. In therapy, building my self-esteem, facing the hurt and betrayal I felt as a child, and learning how to identify the traits of trustworthiness, restored my belief in my ability to determine who to trust. Here are the ten traits to look for when meeting someone new, and questions to ask yourself:1. ConsistencyDoes he follow through with what he says? Is he on time? Is he reliable with the little things? Do his words match his actions? Does he keep his promises? Is he consistent with others?2. Caring and RespectDo his actions show that he takes my feelings into consideration? Does he call if he is going to be late? Does he uphold commitments? Does he think about how his behavior will affect me? Does he consult me when making plans? Does he do the little things that make me feel cared for? Does he show caring and respect to others?3. VulnerableDoes he open up to me? Does he share personal things? Does he trust me with information he wouldn't tell others? Does he admit his faults and shortcomings or talk about poor decisions he made in the past? Does he talk about difficulties he has experienced?4. ConnectedIs he present and relaxed when he is with me? Or is he preoccupied with his phone? Does he make eye contact? Does he listen well and appreciate my thoughts and opinions? Does he ask me questions as well as talking about himself? Is he connected with others who are trustworthy? Does he have longstanding friendships and relationships with others?5. HonestDoes he tell me things that he doesn't like or agree with in a kind way, especially when it is difficult? Is he willing to tell the truth when he disagrees or has another opinion, while respecting mine? Does he make excuses when something goes wrong or does he "own" it and genuinely apologize? Does he tell white lies or exaggerate his accomplishments? Does he "conveniently forget" to tell me important details?6. KindHow does he treat other people? Does he hold the door open for others? Does he leave tips for the server? Does he give to charity? Does he do kind acts of service for others? How does he respond when others need help?7. EthicalDoes he pay his taxes? Does he pay people money back when he borrows? Does it bother him when other people are not being ethical? Is he loyal to others? Is he humble?8. OpenDoes he introduce me as his girlfriend? Has he acknowledged me on social media? Has he told his friends and family about me? Is he forthcoming when I ask questions or is he secretive?9. ResponsiveIs he there when I need help? Does he appreciate when I and others offer him assistance? Does he willingly offer his help?10. TrustingTrustworthiness is a two-way street. Untrustworthy people are suspicious of others' intentions. They may project their untrustworthiness onto others. So ask yourself, "Does he trust others?"These are the traits of a person who is trustworthy. If you take a hard look at what you are learning about new people you meet, you will likely be able to tell whether they are trustworthy.If you need assistance, contact us by phone (410-363-2825) or email. We would be glad to coach you on this.Image Copyright Alexey Poprotsky