5 Steps to Climb Out of the Relationship Rut
By the time you finish work, grab a quick dinner, take the kids to softball, do homework, put them to bed and make lunches for tomorrow, there is no time or energy to do anything but crawl into bed. You wake up the next day and do it all over again. Weekends are filled with the chores you don’t get done during the week: laundry, food shopping, projects around the house, mowing the lawn, dinner with in-laws. The list never ends.No wonder so many couples fall into what we call, the “relationship rut.”But how do you know if you’re there?You’re in a relationship rut when you:
- Don’t have much to talk (or text) about.
- Would rather spend time bonding on Facebook than with him.
- Haven’t been on a date in months.
- Spend more time talking to Siri than her.
- Can’t remember the last time you laughed together.
- Notice your computer spends more time on your lap than she does.
- Haven’t enjoyed sex in weeks or months.
- Cuddle your iPhones more than each other.
American novelist Edith Wharton said: Habit is necessary; it is the habit of having habits, of turning a trail into a rut that must be incessantly fought against if one is to remain alive.The same holds true for relationships. We need routine in our lives; but to stay vibrant, we must not allow our partnerships to fall into and stay in a rut.Here are five steps to climb out and stay out of a rut:
- Make your marriage a priority - Carve out time to be together without the kids to reconnect and focus on each other.
- Nurture your friendship - Do something fun together that you both enjoy.
- Focus on the positives - Make a list of the qualities you love about each other and share them.
- Unplug - Put away the electronics in the evening and spend time talking to each other, reading a book together or planning a getaway.
- Do random acts of romance - Leave a love note, initiate sex or make a date to have sex.
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