5 Steps to Create Financial Harmony
Do you and your husband argue about money? Consistently, money is reported as the Number One issue that couples have conflict about.A nationwide study by MONEY Magazine surveyed 1,000 couples (500 husbands and 500 wives) and found 43% of the spouses argued about money, compared to 20% who argued about sex. 84% said money caused tension in their relationships. The survey also found husbands and wives divided financial tasks along traditional gender lines with women managing the daily finances and men doing the long-term financial planning. However, the higher a woman's income the more likely she was to be involved in the big picture planning.Another finding, consistent over the last decade, is that women are not confident in their ability to invest wisely and therefore tend to invest much more conservatively than men. This is exactly why it is vital for women to learn about financial matters and share the responsibility of financial decision-making with their husbands.In our practice, we have all too often seen women who are uninformed about this part of their lives; though they know and manage every detail about the running of the household, their kids' schedules, the social calendar, and the doctors' appointments, they let go in this one important area. We have had couples in our practice where the presenting issue is:
- We filed for bankruptcy and I had no idea it was coming.
- The bank foreclosed on our house and he didn't tell me until there was nothing that could be done.
- He put our house up as collateral for his business and we have lost the equity in our home.
- He invested our money in a risky fund without asking me and we lost a huge portion of our life savings.
If you are not well informed about your family's finances, talk with your spouse today and get involved.Here are five steps you can take to create financial harmony:1) Strengthen the lines of communication - talk with your partner about your income, investments, how you spend money, where you agree and disagree.2) Expect differences - in each couple there is usually a spender and a saver to some degree; work together to come to consensus without either of you having to be “right.”3) Learn about finances as a team - watch financial programs; take a course together on investing or retirement; read articles about money and discuss them.4) Talk about your money histories - share what you learned about money growing up: was there abundance or scarcity; did your parents talk about money; what did they teach you about finances.5) Set financial goals - it's never too early to talk about your money goals for the future; create a life plan together.It is imperative for a woman to understand her family's fiscal health just like she attends to her family's physical health. This is why we are so passionate about participating in the Women Getting Wise on Wealth seminar series; to empower women’s relationship with money.Share your thoughts and stories about money and relationships with us on our Facebook page.Here’s to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.