An ingredient for holding relationships together!

Today we will explore a special ingredient - the glue - that holds couples together!Secret #6 - Build connections.Sounds easy but it’s something that often eludes couples in long-term relationships. In the beginning, the chemistry of a physical and emotional attraction, and a novel relationship, ignite and sustain the bond between people with little effort. Eventually the newness wears off and the loving connection needs to be stoked or it may wane. Most couples are unaware of this or believe if they truly love each other, the connection will “just last.”Since consciously feeding and nurturing the bond of love is the key to a lasting love connection, how do you nurture the bond?Barbara deAngelis, a relationship consultant, lecturer, author and TV personality, says, “The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together.”Here are ten ideas to feed the bond: (Bob and I do all of these.)

1. Create scheduled “sacred time” for your relationship every week to connect - could be a date or talking over coffee.
2. Write weekly love notes to your partner - yellow stickies are good enough.
3. Cuddle every night before bed - which means you have to go to bed together.
4. Thank each other for the things that he/she is “supposed to do anyway” - like emptying the dishwasher, even though that’s his/her job.
5. Create a habit of expressing gratitude regularly for having each other - and all the other good things in your lives.
6. Take a moment each day to look in each others eyes or hug - to pause and appreciate your relationship and the life you’ve created.
7. Have regular sex - even if you have to schedule it; and don’t skip kissing.
8. Watch meaningful movies about relationships and discuss them.
9. Find a hobby or activity you can both share - we go swing dancing.
10. Live each day with your partner in your thoughts and heart.

Brainstorm with your partner about what would nurture your bond; and then consciously create “love habits” that will nourish your connection.Stay tuned for more about the Secret #7. We will be out of the office for the next two weeks, so look for our next Relationship Recharge the last week of August.We invite you to create better communication using our most popular audio program:Sign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more tips and articles from us about relationships.To Your Relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander