Deepen Your Connection - Take a Marriage Vacation
"I found my friend and my lover again."That was how one of our clients described the vacation with her husband. They hadn't gone away together since their youngest child was born, 5 years ago.She continued, "We communicated, he listened, we had fun, we felt close. It was the first time we relaxed in years. And sex was great.""Getting away" is vital for couples, especially after you have children. Couples often tell us they haven't taken a vacation together for years. The most common reasons are:
- We feel guilty leaving the kids.
- We don't have a babysitter.
- We don't have the money.
- We don't have time.
When our kids were young, we went to California for training with John Gray, the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. We felt extremely guilty leaving the kids for a week, but this was an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.Our kids, ages 5 and 7, would be with their grandparents and we rationalized that it was for work, even though we added on a few days just for us. Leaving was difficult: this was before cell phones. But we knew they were in good hands and we would phone home a couple times a day.That trip was 14 years ago and it is still one of the most memorable experiences we've had as a couple. (Our kids grew up un-traumatized and have now both left us for college.) Getting away together:
- renewed our marriage
- deepened our connection
- gave us time together for intimacy
- allowed us to have uninterrupted conversation
- reminded us why we married each other
- taught our kids that marriage matters
It's natural for a marriage to be put on the back burner when children are very young. But all too often couples forget to bring the marriage back to the forefront. We feel strongly it is vital for every couple to take a marriage vacation at least once a year. Even one or two nights at a Bed & Breakfast will rejuvenate and refresh your relationship. No excuses. Remember the best gift you can give your kids is a happy marriage.We would love to hear your thoughts about marriage vacations on our Facebook page.Here’s to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.