Why Do Men Always Want That Pat on the Back?
"Why do I have to appreciate every little thing that he does? I empty the dishwasher twice a day but if he does it once, he expects me to thank him. I don't get thanked for all that I do."We often hear this type of complaint from women about their husbands. The answer is that a man's self-esteem is based on the "job" he does: whether it's the job that provides for the family, the job he does as a husband, or the jobs he does around the house. When a man receives appreciation it goes right to his core as a loving gift.This is not to say that women don't need appreciation; most women do many jobs, whether or not they work full-time or stay home with the kids. We love appreciation but what is even more meaningful to many women is an offer of assistance, an act of service where the man offers his help to take something off the never-ending list in her head. When a woman receives help it goes straight to her heart as an act of love.For the next several weeks at Relationships Work, we will explore: what women don't know about the men they love.Feel free to share your opinions or ask questions on our Facebook page and then we'll respond to them. We would love to hear from both men and women!Here's to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.