Do This Before Little Things Become Big Things
Fighting, when it airs grievances and complaints, can be one of the healthiest things a couple can do for their relationship. A lasting marriage results from a couple's ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship. Many couples tend to equate a low level of conflict with happiness and believe the claim "we never fight" is a sign of marital health. But I believe we grow in our relationships by reconciling our differences. That's how we become more loving people and truly experience the fruits of marriage. - John Gottman, Ph.D.
For many couples, it’s the little everyday issues causing big arguments.We hear complaints like:
- She can never decide what to wear.
- She spends an hour getting ready to go out.
- She always tells me how to drive.
- He walks over the underwear pile.
- He doesn’t see the mess the kids made.
- He calls me about what to feed the kids on my “girls night out.”
- He promises to do projects around our house and never gets to them.
The little chronic fights couples have (including us), will become big disagreements and build tremendous resentment, if not handled properly. Since Bob and I just had one of them, we thought we would share it with you and show how we handled it.Watch this video to hear us talk about our most recent “little fight,” and share how we worked it through (until the next one).
Sign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more tips and articles from us about relationships.To Your Relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander