Is Your Partner Paying for the Hurts of Your Past?
If you stay in the company of anger, pain, or hurt, happiness will find someone else to visit. Make the choice to view all of your past relationships as a gift. Throw out what hasn’t worked in the past and incorporate new concepts. Focus on being happy. - Kristen Crockett
Holly (to Lori): My dad left our family when I was eight. He said he wasn’t leaving me, but it sure felt that way. The promise to see me everyday didn’t last long, his work and his new wife took care of that. This is how my fear of trusting men began. I dated guys in high school and college, but somehow they always ended up leaving me. Then I met Dan. He was kind and sensitive. It was the first time I felt truly safe in a relationship. After we married and had kids, I stayed home. He pursued his career in sales and traveled twice a month. I started feeling lonely and began wondering if I could trust him.Dan: I never gave Holly reason to not trust me. I’ve been a devoted husband for 10 years. Recently she started accusing me of seeing another woman. She always knows my schedule and when I travel I call her at least twice a day. I feel like her issues trusting men are getting dumped on me. I am not her father.Lori: It’s common for people to project their feelings and fears from their history, and past relationships, onto their partners. When a person is unaware of this it can wreak havoc upon his or her present relationship. We may unjustly accuse our partner of something we are afraid of and create the very distance we don’t want.Watch this video to hear Lori and Bob talk about how your past hurts can affect your present relationship and what to do about it.
Also tune in this Saturday, November 9th at 6pm on WomanTalk Live Radio 680 WCBM in Baltimore, where we'll talk more in depth about this topic.Sign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more tips and articles from us about relationships.To Your Relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander