Five Lessons from Football for Your Relationship

Being a Baltimorean, I was exhilarated as I watched the Baltimore Ravens win one of the greatest playoff games in NFL history this past weekend. It was a hard fought game. With everything stacked against them - playing away from home, being 9 point underdogs, enduring minus 1 wind chill temperatures, high altitude and thin air in the mile high city of Denver - the Ravens won to the disbelief of many.Curious to hear the sports analysts’ views about how this amazing conquest was achieved, I read many of their comments. It struck me that their impressions regarding the Ravens’ victory could be applied to “winning” in relationships.Here are the five lessons we can take from the Ravens’ triumph that will help us score a touchdown in our relationships:1)  Believe that you can succeed. Despite the fact it it looked like a long shot, the Ravens truly believed they could win. One of the biggest concerns was how the players would handle the high altitude and the extremely cold weather.“The main thing you have to do as a football team is you have to deal with it, you have to cope with it…we’d like to think that we’re a team built for all weather, for all conditions. That’s something that we pride ourselves in.” - John Harbaugh, Head Coach, The RavensWhen times are tough and you feel a chill in your relationship, believe you can work it out. Have faith your connection can survive and thrive through the stresses of everyday life and the setbacks that will inevitably arise. Find tools and learn skills to grow a winning relationship.2)   Commit to working together as a team. The Ravens understand the value and energy of the “team.” Individual players don’t win the game; the team wins the game.With couples, it’s important to commit to the relationship, the invisible entity with a synergy of its own. Working as a team, a couple must support each partner and stay united, especially when mistakes are made. Forgiving, letting go and moving forward are vital to winning.3)   Face fear together. When the Ravens were losing and there were 31 seconds left in the game, our quarterback threw a 70 yard pass which enabled the receiver to score a touchdown and tie up the game.In relationships it’s common for fear to turn into anger and blame toward your partner. Instead, share the fear together, remember you are a team and persevere when times are tough. Don’t give up when you think it is hopeless. Stand together in the face of fear to win.4)  Put all you have into the game. The Ravens put their whole selves mind, body and spirit into the game and maintained their attention on the goal.In this busy world, it’s easy for couples to lose focus and emotionally drift apart. Often in counseling, we see couples living parallel lives, doing the business of the relationship but not putting themselves “in” fully. Staying focused on the partnership and having a balance of head, heart and hormones in the relationship wins.5)  Work with a coach. How would the Ravens fare without their amazing coach, John Harbaugh, who leads and motivates his team?Relationships too need a coach. Couples usually wait until   problems have festered for years to get relationship coaching. In Couple to Couple Coaching® Bob and I help couples deal with crises and/or move their relationship from ordinary to extraordinary by modeling and teaching skills. Communication and conflict management skills are needed by all couples to be their best.   Coaching supports a relationship winning.So take some lessons from football, whether or not you watch. Here’s to the AFC Championship this weekend. Go Ravens!To Your Relationship,Lori and Bob Hollanderwww.RelationshipsWork.comA SPECIAL TELECLASS EVENT:If you’re committed to taking your relationship to extraordinary in 2013, you won’t want to miss this month’s FREE Relate 360 TeleClass: 5 Keys to Re-Ignite Your Intimate Relationship. It take place on Thursday, January 31st at 8PM ET | 7PM CT | 6PM MT | 5PM PT. LEARN MORE HERE.When you register you will receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? as our thank you. Sign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more tips and articles from us about relationships.