Pssst...Our Empty Nest Is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Us
photo relationships work empty nest fresh start
There. I said it out loud. If our kids are reading this (which is highly improbable since they are busy with their own lives) please don’t take this personally.Bob and I have two amazing children who we love dearly. For the last two and a half decades, we have spent most of our time and energy, outside of our practice, raising them, loving them, supporting them, carpooling them; being there through all the joys and heartaches that they have experienced. To our surprise, they both followed in our footsteps and became social workers. Our younger one recently finished his MSW, got a job and moved out (for the last time, hopefully)!It’s been several years since we have been weaning away from them, so it wasn’t a total shock. But I clearly remember the plethora of mixed emotions in the beginning: sadness, grief, depression, loss, emptiness, and disbelief that the largest chunk of my adult life was done. Watching our kids go from tiny, vulnerable infants to becoming independent young adults has been an amazing journey, unlike any other.The realization that we now had more time, more resources, and empty spaces to fill was peculiar. I had thoughts about Bob and I like, “What are we going to do now?” “Who is this man I married years ago?” “Will he still like me?” “What will we have in common?” “What will it be like, having the opportunity to be closer again, spend more time together again?” My brain wouldn’t stop spinning.Then there were thoughts about me: “Where have the years gone?” “How did it go so fast?” “Who am I?” “Should I take up piano again since I haven’t played in years?” “Who is that woman in the mirror with those wrinkles?” And on and on.Well since that initial stage of empty nest I’m happy to say Bob and I have come a long way. Thank goodness, we do still like each other. We talked about our vision for the next part of our life together. We made decisions about finances and goals. And we made our bucket list – things we want to do before we’re no longer on this earth.Bob and I have traveled several times to places we’ve never been before. We have both made an effort to spend more time with friends and family. We have actually made some new friends, individually and as a couple. We decided to continue to work and take one extra day off per week. At some point, we may downsize since we only use half of the rooms in the house anyway.This part of our life is what Bob calls “the sweet spot” – i.e., the kids are on their own, we have more freedom to pursue what we want to do individually and as a couple, and we are both still healthy enough to do that, and enjoy this time. Mind you, we never take that for granted. No one is promised tomorrow. That’s how we try to live each day. So that’s the beginning of our new chapter.Whatever stage you’re in, staying connected with your partner is the key to a happy future, so you can get to and enjoy your sweet spot.If you need help doing that, Bob and I are here. Call us at 410-363-2825 or email info@relationshipswork.com.Image Copyright Free-Photos