The Secret to Getting the Perfect Holiday Gift for Your Partner

The moment has arrived. She is about to unwrap the gift. You’re filled with anticipation. Surely she is going to love it. It’s perfect. After 14 years together you certainly know her taste.Holding your breath, your adrenaline is pumping. You can’t wait to see the big smile on her face. She’ll squeal with joy, throw her arms around you and give you a great big hug. You’ve proven your love; you did a great job. You read her mind.She tears off the giftwrap, and opens the box. Your heart is pounding. Oh no, what’s happening? The hairs on the back of your neck start to prickle. Where’s the big smile? You feel short of breath. She takes it out and asks for your help with the clasp. She ekes out a “Thank you honey” and gives you a peck on the cheek. That’s it?!

“Honey, don’t you like it?”“Well it’s not exactly my taste. How about if we go back to the store and we can pick something out together?”

Getting the “perfect gift” for your loved one is often a crapshoot. Yet people persist in trying to surprise their loved ones with the perfect gift. Though it may work some of the time, we frequently hear when it doesn’t work.Are you wracking your brain over the perfect gift for your loved one this holiday season? We have the perfect solution: Ask her (or him) what she (or he) wants. I know what you are thinking:

• How unromantic.
• That’s too practical.
• If he (she) truly loves me shouldn’t he (she) know what I want?

Okay. We know this may not be the most romantic plan, but being disappointed in your partner’s ability to read your mind isn’t too romantic either.Bob and I used to surprise each other. Instead of creating joy, it often caused more anxiety, guilt and disappointment than we cared for.At some point we decided to set ourselves up for success. It’s fun discussing what we want – usually something we wouldn’t normally buy for ourselves. Something special. Lately we have given ourselves the gift of quality time together and planned an experience we can enjoy as a couple. It could be a trip to a bed and breakfast, a concert, a show, a weekend in NY.So this year don’t discount the option of asking each other for what you want. The joy won’t come from the surprise, but from getting something you will surely love. The best part is you will set yourselves up for the gift of connection and appreciation. Try it and let us know what happens.Happy Holidays!!