Transforming Sexual Narratives - from Suzanne Iasenza, Ph.D.
Suzanne Iasenza, Ph.D. was one of the "Master Experts" I took a course with at the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium we recently attended. Suzanne is a practicing psychologist in New York City who writes about human sexuality, sex therapy for individuals and couples, sexual orientation, and gender identity.She teaches at the Institute of Contemporary Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis, Adelphi University’s Derner School of Psychology and at the Ackerman Institute for the Family.Suzanne's course was about transforming sexual narratives; i.e., the "story" each of us holds about sexuality, and how that developed. I would like to share one point about women's sexual desire she discussed and then refer you to her article so you can read more.
The historic sexual narrative
In the practice of relationship therapy and marriage counseling, many women report their sexual desire has significantly decreased or disappeared, especially after children are born. Bob and I hear this often in our practice. Some couples, straight and gay, end up with low-sex or no-sex marriages. (Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. defines a low-sex marriage as sexual intimacy less than ten times per year.)Suzanne says, based upon historic models of sexual functioning, it was assumed "something was wrong" with women who experienced a decrease in, or loss of, sexual desire. These psychological paradigms described women's sexual functioning as linear, starting with a spontaneous or automatic stage of desire that led to arousal, a plateau and an orgasm. So, if feelings of sexual desire were decreased or lost, "something was wrong" with a woman. More specifically:
Masters & Johnson described the human sexual response cycle as: Excitement-Plateau-Orgasm-Resolution; and,
Helen Singer Kaplan, described it as Desire-Arousal-Orgasm.
Transforming sexual narratives
The contemporary models of sexuality do not consider desire as a spontaneous drive. Women may initiate sex to be emotionally close, share physical pleasure or increase a sense of bonding. Desire is "responsive"; i.e., the result of having sex with your partner, not the precursor. This is a significant change. If a woman does not spontaneously feel sexual, nothing is wrong with her.Read more about these ideas in Suzanne Iasenza’s great article on this topic, Transforming Sexual Narratives: From Dysfunction to Discovery.We'd love to hear your thoughts about Dr. Suzanne Iasenza's work on our Facebook page.
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