3 Keys to Monogamy for a Lifetime
"For me, the highest level of sexual excitement is in a monogamous relationship." ~ Warren Beatty
On our wedding day couples vow their relationship will be monogamous. And yet, studies show 40% of women and 60% of men break that promise. Though we are not living up to the ideal of monogamy, we continue to hold it as an important value and judge others harshly when we hear someone cheated; be it an actor, a politician, a relative or your next door neighbor.Where is the "disconnect"? Are we not meant to be monogamous? Are we trying to live up to an unreachable goal? Or are we just not taught how to keep the emotional and erotic connection going in a long term relationship? We believe it's the latter.Day after day we see couples who have allowed their connection to wane, often without recognizing the insidious signs that their emotional and erotic bond is slipping away. Sometimes it is after children are born and one or both partners become child focused. Or people allow boredom to set in to their partnership; the exhilaration of someone new leads one to think there is something wrong with his/her marriage. Another reason is that conflict goes unspoken or unresolved and creates a thick wall of distance, resentment and fear between partners that is difficult to break through.To achieve monogamy for a lifetime, these are three action steps all couples should take:
- Attend to your relationship emotionally and erotically, especially after you have children.
- Take responsibility for consistently and consciously stimulating and refreshing your relationship and connection.
- Learn how to communicate and work through conflict as a team.
We believe these are the vital keys to maintaining monogamy and creating deep intimacy in your relationship. And it is a deep connection that will sustain a relationship for a lifetime.We would love to hear your thoughts and ideas about monogamy on our Facebook page.To Your Relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.