How to Predict a Happy Marriage
What do you think makes a marriage happy?The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, in their most recent study of The State of Our Unions, found the following five factors are predictive of being "very happy" in marriages with children.1) Sexual satisfaction with your partnerThe first thing to go once couples have children is sex. Pregnancy, morning sickness, hormones and delivering a baby put a significant dent in anyone's sex life. Then there's the exhaustion, the sleepless nights, the lack of time, and the stress of being first time parents. It's vital after a couple has kids to get back to a regular sex life. One other interesting finding was that women reported more sexual satisfaction when their husbands shared the housework. Listen up, men!2) Commitment to the marriageIn our practice, we often find a significant difference in the strength of commitment two partners have to the marriage. The couples who are very happy are the ones where both partners will do "whatever it takes" to communicate, resolve conflict and work as a team. It pays to make your relationship your top priority.3) Generosity with your spouseWhen spouses are sensitive to their partners needs and desires they are more giving and more connected to each other and their relationship. Generosity was defined as giving compliments, acts of service, affection and forgiveness. These couples are more relationship-focused than individual-focused. A spirit of giving and gratitude builds a positive and loving bond.4) Positive attitude toward raising childrenParents who spent lots of time with their kids and also spent time alone together were the most happy. These couples were more engaged with their family and their partners. Date nights really do matter.5) Marital spiritualityCouples with a sense of faith who attended religious services regularly felt a great sense of life purpose. Connection with a religious community and the social support of friends were also elements of very happy couples. Shared spirituality is yet another bond that brings couples together.How do you and your partner rate on these factors?Sharing this article with your spouse would be a great way to start a discussion about making your relationship the best it can be.We would love to hear your thoughts and ideas about what makes relationships happy on our Facebook page.To your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Here’s something you might be interested in…Our FREE eWorkbook, How Connected IS Your Communication?
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships.