7 Building Blocks of Trust in Relationships

"The fundamental glue that holds any
relationship together is trust." ~ Brian Tracy

Trust is essential for a relationship to thrive. It's the foundation upon which a strong partnership rests. When you fall in love, you hand over your heart to your partner and count on him taking good care of it. You risk depending on the other. Only when you feel safe with your partner can you relax and be vulnerable. With trust comes the sharing of deep emotion; with trust comes intimacy in head, heart and hormones.Building belief in your partner happens over time when the relationship is tested. You learn whether you can count on your partner. Is he there when you are down? Does she put you first? Are you sensitive to each other's feelings? Are you honest in the most difficult of times?Trust is one of the hardest bonds to build in a relationship and probably the easiest to destroy. It only takes one lie, one flirty text, one kiss or one step outside the relationship to create doubt that may last forever. We see this in our practice often.Here are the 7 ways we see couples successfully build trust:

1. Do what you say. Keep your promises and commitments consistently.
2. Tell the truth to your partner or others. Even white lies in your relationship can do harm.
3. Communicate about problems; don't avoid them. Be sensitive to and validate each other's feelings even when you don't agree. Problem solve instead of making each other wrong.
4. Say things in a way you won't ever regret. Be respectful. If arguments become heated, stop talking and come back to it later. Acknowledge your differences.
5. Share the workload. Divide household responsibilities so both of you feel you have a fair share.
6. Support each other's individuality. Give each other space and support for achieving personal goals and having individual friends and activities.
7. Make your partner the top priority so she knows she can count on you. In the end, people don't wish they had been more devoted to their work; often, people wish they had been more devoted to their family.

We would love to hear your thoughts and ideas about what builds trust on our Facebook page.To your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander

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Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships.