7 Keys to Being a Happy Couple

What makes couples happy? Research shows that one of the key factors affecting the quality of relationships is its degree of "positivity." The more positivity expressed and shared by the couple, the longer lasting and happier the relationship.An article in Scientific American, "The Happy Couple," describes these findings. Martin Seligman, University of Pennsylvania psychologist and "father of positive psychology," found that couples who focus more on the positive have a higher rate of successful marriages, than those who are more negative.Studies by others show that happy couples rate high on positivity when they communicate, feel understood and validated; when they experience joy together in doing activities, and when they express gratitude.Here are 7 ideas to bring more positivity into your life and your connection:

1. Be more mindful of focusing on the positive.Where do you naturally put your focus - on the positive or the negative? Choose to accentuate the positive, individually and in your relationship.
2. Consciously bring more positivity into your relationship.Do more fun activities. (See last week's blog post.) Ask your partner to brainstorm ways to add more positivity, especially doing the “little things.”
3. Celebrate the happy times.Share joy with the people around you. Make a habit of celebrating their happy times as well as yours. Have more celebrations.
4. Respond positively to your partner’s successes.Emphasize your partner’s work achievements. Acknowledge what your partner does outside your relationship.
5. Practice “Random Acts of Gratitude” toward your partner.Express more gratitude and love. Share positive emotions and thoughts about your partner in word or in writing.
6. Savor the positive moments in “10 second” activities. Pause and be mindful of the joyful moments. Share them together. Give each other 10-second hugs, 10-second kisses, 10-second smiles looking into each other’s eyes, 10 seconds of gratitude.
7. Shine light on what you want to grow.Think about how you can put more positivity into your life and your relationship. Take one step each week to add more positive into your life.

Talk with your partner about these ideas to grow your positivity and you will be a happier couple.Image Copyright Mauricio Jordan De Souza Coelho