Are You and Your Partner Financially Intimate?
Cathy: We had the perfect life. For 15 years the business did well; Chuck took care of the bills and investments. I never had to worry about our finances. Then one day he told me we would have to file bankruptcy. He had borrowed most of the equity in our home to keep the business going when the recession hit. And he hadn't told me.Lori: Why hadn't he shared that?Cathy: He said he didn't want me to worry; he thought he could handle it and work it out without telling me. I had no clue.Lori: How has that affected your relationship?Cathy: I am so angry. We will have to move out of our neighborhood and, after being home with our kids for the last four years, I have to go back to work.Lori: Did you feel betrayed?Cathy: Absolutely. He made these life-altering decisions without consulting me. It brings me back to thinking about how my parents always struggled to make ends meet. I never wanted to feel that again.And, I'm also angry at myself. Why didn't I get more involved? Why didn't I look at our financial statements? I assumed he would take care of us.This is one of many stories we have heard from couples about lack of financial communication in our practice.
- How financially intimate are you and your partner?
- How involved are you in the day-to-day finances of your household?
- How about long-term financial planning and investment decisions?
- Do you and your partner meet with your financial adviser together?
These are some of the issues we will address in our upcoming presentation on June 2nd as part of the Women Getting Wise on Wealth seminar series:
Click on the link above for more information and to join us for an informative and fun presentation.It is vital for women to empower themselves financially, individually and especially in their relationships. Left unattended studies show there will likely be an imbalance in financial knowledge and decision making, leaving a woman at a disadvantage.In the last decade, studies have also consistently found that couples do not do financial planning together. When women become financially Conscious, Confident and Communicative about money matters they grow in independence and in the ability to become financially intimate in their relationships.Here are some things you can do now:
- Discuss with your partner:
- Household finances, i.e. bills, budget, savings
- Investments and financial planning, i.e. portfolio, retirement plans
- Individual financial history and your personal relationship with money
- Money communication in your relationship
- Create the following habits:
- Do your daily and long-term financial planning as a team.
- Balance your approaches – saver/spender, risk tolerance.
- Meet with your financial planner together.
Share your thoughts and stories about money and relationships with us on our Facebook page.Here's to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.