Confidence - The Greatest Dating Magnet of All Time

Think about the last time you attended a party. In walks a woman with confidence and positive energy. She may not be the most beautiful woman at the event, but she is dressed well, holds her head high, makes eye contact and engages others with a smile. Her cheerful and upbeat disposition creates a centered, confident presence. Why do you and other people notice her? What is it that draws your attention to her?The answer is simple: Most of us are attracted to people who feel good themselves.If we could only give you one piece of advice about dating, it would be to grow in confidence and share yourself with others, i.e. work on your self-esteem and then let yourself shine. Sounds easy, huh? Not!Many people do not naturally feel good about themselves. Insecurity and fear of judgment and rejection stop us from feeling confident. Focusing on the things we don't like about ourselves, we tear ourselves down becoming our own worst critic. And this is especially true for women.The truth about self-confidence is that it's not about how we look - tall, short, heavy, thin. It's about what we choose to focus on and nurture. Whatever we feed grows and whatever we starve becomes weaker. Focus on your positive traits and you will like yourself more; focus on your negative traits and you will withdraw.Here are some steps you can take to increase your self-esteem from the inside out:1) Assess your self-esteem: Take a deep look inside and out, and list of all your positive and negative traits - what you like and do not like about yourself. Then go through each item and ask yourself how often you focus on the qualities you like vs. the qualities you don't like.2) Challenge yourself cognitively: Decide that you are going to grow your positive thoughts and shrink your negative ones one day at a time. First thing every morning review your positive list and consciously carry those thoughts with you throughout the day. Chances are your brain will automatically go to the negative or critical thoughts, like a bad habit. Catch yourself doing this, acknowledge the habit and then challenge the thought; talk back to it, be kind to yourself. Give yourself a virtual hug.3) Create a habit of positivity: The daily practice of focusing on the positive will create a new affirmative habit. Surround yourself with reminders. Embrace what you don't like about yourself with kind thoughts just as a good friend or parent would do if they could hear what you are thinking. Remember, it is only when you do this that your self-esteem will grow.4) Do something different on the outside too: Try a new hair style or a new outfit. Have a professional makeover. Create an appearance that makes you feel good about yourself when you look in the mirror.Now, go strut your stuff. You must like and appreciate yourself before you can attract a mate that likes and appreciates you!How is your confidence? Do you need to increase your self-esteem?