Dating in the Age of Texting - 5 Rules to Live By

Remember when...     You actually called each other on the telephone to make plans for a date.     You would leave each other voicemails about having had a great time.     Going out actually meant having your date's full attention for the entire evening.If you relate to these "remember when's," chances are you are over 45. Today, texting is the primary method of communication for people under the age of 45. This is a frightening thought for us - two therapists who know how difficult even face-to-face communication can be.Texting in and of itself is not really the problem. It's actually a very efficient way of letting your date know you are running late or confirming plans for the evening; it's even okay to let your date know you enjoyed their company or send sweet thoughts that put a smile on his or her face.The problems arise when dating couples use texting to express feelings or have serious conversations about issues. Communicating without voice, tone, inflection, eye contact and body language leaves too much room for MISINTERPRETATION in capital letters. The written word, devoid of feeling and emotion tends to create more problems than it solves.For some, "talking" about difficult feelings on a screen is easier than having to look the other person in the eye. The impersonal nature of texting creates an emotional distance that allows some people to say things they might not say in person. But if couples avoid dealing with important issues face to face, they will not learn to become truly emotionally intimate.Here are five texting rules to live by:1) Use texting to exchange information, for light conversation or to just say hello, but never for serious conversations.2) Don't text others when you are on a date. That would be just like taking phone calls on a date. Rude.3) Be aware of how your texts "sound" since the receiver may not know if you are being humorous or serious - especially, if you've just begun to date.4) Always use the phone to ask someone out, even if you are worried about rejection.5) Finally, don't text during happy hour, after you have had a few martinis. Comedy shows are actually based on this concept so consider that fair warning.Happy Dating!We would love to hear about your texting experiences on dates on our Facebook page:Has a date ever "texted on" you? Do you text on dates? What's your date texting etiquette?