Discover the Power of Empathy

When your “significant other” gets angry with you, do respond with anger or defensiveness?Next time your partner gets heated, try something different. Meet anger with empathy. The outcome will amaze you. Here’s how it works.

Knowing this gives you a powerful choice when temperatures rise in your relationship. You can respond to the outer layer of anger with anger; or you can respond to the deeper, more vulnerable emotions with empathy. What you choose will determine the outcome in any given situation.Think of anger like an onion. Your partner’s angry. On the outside you observe, shall we say, his/her displeasure. But peel away the skin and you’ll find layers of other feelings underneath - most likely sadness, hurt and/or fear.Yesterday Bob forgot to make the bank deposit I’d given him. My reaction? Irritated. Underneath? Fear that we might overdraw our account. I had told Bob we were tight. Instead of Bob being defensive, he responded to my fear and said, “I understand you’re worried about covering the bills.” I replied, “I know you didn’t do it intentionally.” That was the end of it.

Empathy disarms anger.

This is the power of empathy. Try it with your partner and let us know how it turns out!