Giving Thanks Is Good for Your Health and Your Marriage
"Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic."
~ John Henry Jowett
Would you like a simple way to become happier and healthier, and improve your marriage all at the same time? No it's not a new diet or the latest piece of exercise equipment. It's not a new anti-depressant. It's actually something that's free, doesn't take much effort and can be had by anyone who wants it.And it has been clinically studied to do the job, guaranteed, or your money back. What could it be?The answer is "expressing gratitude." And Thanksgiving is the perfect time to start or increase this habit.Studies have shown that expressing gratitude actually makes you happier and healthier. Feeling grateful and expressing it can have profound positive effects on your health, your mood and on your relationship.Robert A. Emmons, PhD, psychology professor at University of California, Davis, and pioneer in the research on gratitude positive psychology says, "What makes gratitude the 'magic ingredient' is that it takes us outside ourselves so that we can see how we are part of the larger, intricate network of sustaining relationships - - relationships that are reciprocal."In one of Emmons' early studies, participants kept a short journal and were asked to describe either five things during the last week they were grateful for or the opposite, five hassles they experienced during the previous week that displeased them. The neutral group was asked to list five events or circumstances that affected them, but they were not told to accentuate the positive or negative. Here are the results at the end of 10 weeks:
- Participants in the gratitude group felt better about their lives as a whole and were more optimistic about the future than participants in either of the other control conditions: a full 25 percent happier!
- They reported fewer health complaints and even spent more time exercising than control participants.
- The gratitude group exercised 1.5 hours more than the hassled group.
A 2005 study by Schramm, Marshal and Harris found that expressing gratitude for one's partner was related to higher marital satisfaction and better adjustment to marriage among newlyweds, as well. Newlyweds also viewed appreciative partners more positively. Those partners who expressed gratitude in a relationship regularly for three weeks saw their relationship as having greater communal strength.We have been practicing gratitude for 23 years. We still thank each other for doing daily tasks like the cleaning, cooking and emptying the dishwasher. And we always write our cards to each other instead of buying them from the store.So start your attitude of gratitude today! And by the way, we want to express our gratefulness to you for connecting with us and being part of our relationship community. Wishing you and your family a warm and wonderful Thanksgiving!We would love to know your thoughts about giving the gift of gratitude on our Facebook page.Here's to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.