The Secret to a Happy Marriage: A One Night Stand
We know what you're thinking: a one night stand?! Have Lori and Bob lost their minds?Well, read on before you decide.When our kids were young and we were working overtime to grow our business, there was never enough time, energy or money to take care of our marriage. By default, marriage maintenance took a back seat to everything else. Why? Because it could wait; our marriage was important but not urgent. Our attention always seemed to be drawn to the small immediate needs like running out of milk and diapers; or, the important and pressing things, like taking a sick child to the pediatrician or helping one of our kids do last minute studying for the math test he forgot to tell us about.We're sure you can relate to the madness and frustration.One day we finally came up with a way to stay connected, have fun together and keep it fresh. The best part was it only took a little time, a little money and a little energy, but it made a big difference in our relationship. We called it a "one night stand"...only it was with each other. Just 36 hours away together at a bed and breakfast, one night and two days cost a little money (we always hunted for the bargains), two days off work and a grandparent for a very short time.Think about it. Minimal cost (breakfast is included), hardly any time needed for packing, only a small imposition on the grandparents, almost guilt free (yes the kids survived without us for one night, no matter what they said). And for us a new adventure, time alone, an escape from stress: cozy, relaxing and intimate. The funny part was that every time we did this, we both felt like we had been away for a week. Coming home was great, only two days of mail, emails and phone calls to return and hardly any laundry.It was just enough to give us a lift and make time for our marriage – to connect head, heart and hormones. And we did this about four times a year. We thought, "We'll take bigger vacations together when the kids are older."Now here we are in our empty nest; we have the time and are fortunate to have the energy, but with this economy and two kids in college we don't have the money for the big trips. So our one night stands will continue till the kids are out of college...that is, if they get jobs and don't move back home.We would love to know your ideas about creative ways to keep your love alive on our Facebook page.Here's to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.