The Upside of Empty Nest
The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence. ~ Denis Waitley
When our second child left for college it hit us - the empty nest - that dreaded stage of family life.After years of dirty diapers, temper tantrums, separation anxiety, homework, doctors appointments, orthodontist visits, endless chauffeuring to ballet, gymnastics, softball, basketball, bar mitzvah tutoring and driving lessons, how do our kids repay us? They leave. Essentially we get laid off. The job we had for the last two decades winds down to a close. Not that they still don't need us: they call when they run out of cash or have problems with the car.We just figured out, it has actually been 7,704 days of toil since our maiden voyage into parenthood. We still recall when we brought our firstborn home from the hospital; we looked at each other and asked "What do we do now?" 21 years later we have the same question. The silence is deafening, except for the dog barking; there's a feeling of emptiness in the air.Then suddenly we realized we have more freedom than we've had for a long time. We didn't have to come right home from work. We didn't have anyone asking, "What are we having for dinner?" We had the house back to ourselves. Now if there is a mess in the kitchen we know who to blame. We took dancing lessons and went to a bed and breakfast, guilt-free.But that wasn't enough. We needed to do something meaningful, something we were passionate about. Doing it together would double the joy. So that's just what we did. As a team, we took on a project and have filled the empty nest by helping others, giving back to the community.
The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn't the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility. ~ John Lennon
We would like to share our project with you. Having counseled many gay couples over our 23 years, we have been advocates and allies of the lesbian and gay community, and supporters of marriage for same-sex couples. We have seen firsthand the results of discrimination against the LGBT community. We can't imagine what it would be like to go out in public together and feel like we couldn't hold hands, hug or share a little kiss without people judging us. We certainly understand that for some people this is a controversial issue and respect all points of view.On October 3rd, we will be launching a weekly talk and call in radio show, "Black White & Gay in America - The Human Side" along with co-host Pastor Larry Brumfield. Our mission is to explore the legal, religious, psychological and human experiences of being gay in our country. The show will air Mondays from 4-5pm EST on Radio One's WOLB, TalkRadio 1010am, Baltimore. You can also listen live on their website: www.wolbbaltimore.com.We have created a special Facebook page for the show and will post updates about our topics. We would love for you to come check out and Like our page. We are lining up some amazing guests who you won’t want to miss.Here's to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.