What Is the Secret to Desire in Lifetime Relationships?

What does it take to make relationships last a lifetime?This is one of the questions we are frequently asked. The short answer is that couples need to nurture and grow the three basic connections: Head, Heart and Hormones, meaning communication, emotional love, and physical intimacy.In new relationships, it is ever so natural to “just feel” these connections. When people meet, enjoy each other, find things in common, appreciate talking and listening, and feel stimulated by conversation, they develop the Head connection, effortlessly.The Heart connection follows. We look to please the other person, and attend to what makes them feel good. Then do all the “little things” that make a big difference. Discovering what he/she likes is intriguing. Offering and receiving gifts of love is natural.Physical attraction draws us to the other person. The mighty hormone, Oxytocin is stimulated and creates strong romantic feelings. Sensual desire is triggered. Just being close makes you tingle.At this point, Head, Heart and Hormone connections just happen. You jump on the roller coaster and it takes you for a ride. It’s automatic.Left unattended over time, those bonds won’t last. We often hear couples say, “I love him/her, but I’m not ‘in love’ anymore.” Our first question is, “What have you done to grow and nurture the love connections?” Common responses are:

• Nothing. We are too busy.
• He/she doesn’t do the little things anymore.
• We have no time or money to go on dates.
• We haven’t been away together without the kids for years.
• I have no sexual desire.
• I stopped asking for sex.

Couples naively expect the connections to continue effortlessly; after all that is what happened in the beginning. As life goes on and the newness and mystery fade, it is a challenge for most couples (including us) to maintain these connections. It’s not because we don’t care.We aren’t taught that the Head Heart Hormone connections only survive if consistently nurtured and cared for. Without attention and feeding they starve and die a slow death.The secret to desire in a lifetime relationship is to consistently feed and grow the Head, Heart and Hormone connections - forever.As Valentine’s Day approaches talk with your partner about ways to grow each of these three levels of connection. With just a little effort and a lot of awareness your desire and love can last a lifetime.

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The 4 Hottest Tips to Spice Up Your Erotic ConnectionHead, Heart & Hormones: What Every Couple Should Know About Creating Lasting Love3 Secrets to Spice Up Your Marriage (YouTube)