Create "Romantic Fusion" for Valentine's Day
When love and sex become one, emotional and erotic intimacy coalesce. We call this "Romantic Fusion."
Fusion occurs when two distinct elements, heated to a very high temperature, gain kinetic energy causing their molecules to accelerate and, ultimately, merge into one unified whole.On Valentine's Day we celebrate the fusion of love elements: the joining of head, heart, and hormones; emotional, romantic and sexual feelings unite; where love's hot temperature creates passionate energy in motion. This ideal love is the kind that we experience in the beginning of a relationship.In the honeymoon stage, we are consumed by the energy and chemistry of emotional and physical attraction, sexual tension and affection. During this dreamy state of infatuation, we maximize similarities and minimize differences; we overlook the negative and create an idealized view of our new love. In this near constant state of bliss, love is effortless.Wouldn't it be great if this could last?At some point, every relationship falls back to earth. Awakened by reality, we may find ourselves in conflict. We become aware of characteristics about our partner that we never noticed before. And we may experience being hurt or discouraged. As the temperature of the relationship cools, the kinetic energy loses speed. The once perfect fusion of ideal emotional and erotic love starts to separate and will never again be the supremely unified whole they once were.The good news is that with awareness, healthy communication and effort we can consciously create this state of emotional and erotic fusion on earth, a relationship that is even deeper than the idealized, surface love experienced in the beginning.Valentine's Day reminds us that love is a verb.Doing "acts of love" can literally heat up our relationships, stimulate romance and passion, and create deep connection. This is the closest we will get to "heaven on earth."Think about how your partner wants to receive love, emotionally and sexually. On Valentine's Day and every day, remember to love your partner the way he/she wants to be loved, not the way you want to give it.We would love to hear your thoughts about "Romantic Fusion" on our Facebook page.Here's to a Happy Valentine's Day,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.