Don't Fall Down the Slippery Slope of an Affair
I'm tempted to go to all the buildings downtown and put up a sign, 'DANGER ZONE: Men and Women at Work.'
~ Shirley Glass, Ph.D.
Allan and his colleague, Kelly, spent two months tirelessly working on next year's strategic plan. Their collegial bond developed into a mutual respect for each other's work; devoted to their company's goals, they worked late several nights each week.Discovering they both had a love for sushi, they often ordered from the Japanese restaurant down the street on their late nights. As their friendship developed they learned about each other's family. Kelly had revealed to Allan that she and her husband were feeling distant, which is one reason she never minded working late; she liked Allan's attention: he listened, he talked and often acknowledged her as a talented teammate. Allan, married for 26 years, let Kelly know that his marriage was okay, but far from exciting; the admiration Kelly expressed for him professionally, and her appreciation for the work he did, was refreshing.The project was finally completed. Excitedly, Allan said, "Kelly, it’s 7pm; let's go for one more sushi dinner to celebrate." Kelly was delighted. After dinner, Allan walked her to her car, impulsively he reached over and kissed her. Without thinking, Kelly kissed back. Allan and Kelly were hijacked by the slippery slope of an affair.
Today's workplace is the most common breeding ground for affairs. It's the proximity and collegiality - the intimacy of working together, not bad marriages - that is the slippery slope to infidelity.
~ Shirley Glass, Ph.D. (author, NOT "Just Friends")
Conventional wisdom is that affairs can only happen to unhappily married couples. Research has shown that is not the case. Even when a marriage is happy, given the right circumstances and the opportunity, boundaries can be crossed, emotionally and/or physically, without premeditation.If you notice any of the following, pull yourself back from the brink:
- You are confiding more in your "friend" than in your partner.
- You discuss feelings about your marriage and/or spouse with your "friend."
- You feel sexual tension between the two of you.
- You find yourself feeling secretive about the "friend" relationship.
We would love to know what you think about the slippery slope of affairs on our Facebook page.Here's to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.