In Conflict, Be Your Partner's Therapist

So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed,
to the whole of it, not part of it. ~Jiddu Krishnamurti

In times of conflict, partners want to be heard and understood. Problems arise when both partners want to get their point across at the same time. The conversation becomes more like dueling monologues instead of a dialogue happening between two people. If couples slip into "attack and defend" mode, emotions escalate and the disagreement does not get resolved.In times of conflict, we suggest that the partner who is less emotionally upset become her partner's therapist - not to analyze her personality, but to use the skills a therapist would use when a client comes in wanting to talk.Once your partner feels heard and validated, she will be much more able to hear and validate your point of view.Watch this video to hear us describe how to be your partner's therapist in times of conflict.We would love to hear your thoughts about being your partner's therapist in times of conflict on our Facebook page.To your relationship,Lori and Bob HollanderSign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more tips and articles about relationships.