Just Friends or Emotional Affair?

I'm tempted to go to all the buildings downtown and put up a sign, "DANGER ZONE: Men and Women at Work."Today's workplace is the most common breeding ground for affairs.It's the proximity and collegiality –the intimacy of working together, not bad marriages,that is the slippery slope to infidelity.-Shirley Glass, Ph.D.

Meg and Jon often collaborated on projects at work. Over the years they’d become good friends. Recently, Jon confided in Meg that he was unhappy in his marriage. Meg listened empathically, especially since she felt her husband took her for granted. They started meeting more often for lunch and one day after work went to a happy hour. When Meg got home and her husband questioned why she was late, she told him the truth – that she and Jon had grabbed a quick bite to eat. When he expressed his displeasure, Meg said, “We’re just friends.”But are they? Shirley Glass, Ph.D., author of Not Just Friends, talks about the slippery slope of a friendship becoming an emotional affair. Here are the signs that you are in danger:

• Confiding more in your friend than your partner about how your day went.
• Discussing negative feelings or intimate details about your marriage with your friend but not your partner.
• Hiding the extent of your involvement with your friend.
• Feeling uncomfortable if your partner heard or saw a videotape of the conversation with your friend.
• Having sexual tension or feelings of love for your friend.
• Touching your friend differently when you are alone than when you are around others.

If you become concerned that your partner is having an affair, find the right time to talk with him and discuss your concerns. If you can’t do that, talk to a therapist about how to approach your partner.It is vital to stay consciously connected with your partner throughout the years, head, heart and hormones. This is your best protection against betrayal.Create a more intimate relationship using our most popular audio program below:The 7 Secrets of Emotional & Erotic IntimacyWe would love to hear your thoughts about emotional affairs on our Facebook page.To Your Relationship,Lori and Bob HollanderSign up for our monthly eNewsletter, Radical Relationships, to receive more tips and articles about relationships.