Power Up Communication by Bridging the Gender Gap
Men and women often misinterpret what is being communicated based upon their gender.Here are some of the things we've learned about each other from studying gender differences:LORIBefore, I thought: He doesn't want to listen to me; He just keeps telling me what to do; He doesn’t care.Now I think: Solving my problem is his way of trying to help; If I want him to just listen, I have to give him a job description before I speak.Before, I thought: He doesn't want to share anything he and Fred talked about at breakfast...he doesn't want to connect with me.Now I think: He doesn't remember what he and Fred talked about because he doesn't care.Before, I thought: He's been awfully quiet and withdrawn...he doesn't want to be with me.Now I think: He's in his cave, he doesn't want to talk - I can go shopping with my girlfriends, guilt-free.BOBBefore, I thought: She's being awfully quiet; No talking, how nice - everything must be okay.Now I think: She's not talking, what did I do? Why is she mad at me?Before, I thought: Why is she annoying me with all these questions about breakfast with Fred?Now I think: I will try to remember a few details about Fred's life, so she doesn't feel she's getting crumbs.Before, I thought: When I asked what was wrong and she said "nothing," she meant it.Now I think: That "nothing" means, "if you really love me, you will ask again until I tell you."We would love to hear your thoughts about how gender affects your communication on our Facebook page.Here's to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.