Taking Your Relationship to Extraordinary in 2010: Part II – Money Matters

Did you resolve this New Years to take your relationship to the next level?(If you didn't, it's not too late.)Our January Relationship Recharge posts focus on the four critical areas needed to achieve extraordinary: Emotional Intimacy, Money Matters, Authentic Communication, and Erotic Connection.Part II: Money MattersIn relationships money does matter. In fact, it's the number one cause of conflict in marriage.Knowing, loving and supporting your partner around money issues creates financial intimacy and allows you to come together when dealing with this challenging and highly charged topic in a relationship.Think about this: If you remove the intense emotions and strong beliefs we associate with money, you will see that it is just a means of exchange to obtain what we value. Therefore, what we choose to spend our money on is neither right nor wrong.And what our partner chooses to spend money on is neither right nor wrong as well.KnowingHow well do you and your partner know each other financially? Have you discussed your goals, beliefs and values about spending and saving? Do you know your partner's financial history and what strong feelings each of you associates with money, e.g., love, stress, uncertainty? Have you shared your financial secrets and fears with each other?LovingDo you accept and validate each other's financial values, and work together to meet both of your needs? Do you understand and appreciate your partner's financial history and the impact that has on creating current feelings of abundance or scarcity, self-worth or shame? Are you financially faithful to each other?SupportingDo you communicate and work through areas of disagreement without making one another wrong? Have you combined your finances and come together as a team around money decisions or have you kept them separate to avoid problems? Do you blame or support one another when financial mistakes arise?Working on financial intimacy with your partner is a great way to have authentic conversation and connect deeply.To support you in creating financial intimacy, we have a few recommendations:Love & Money: A Life Guide to Financial Successby Jeff D. OpdykeMoney Harmony: Resolving Money Conflicts in Your Life and Relationshipsby Olivia MellanFor Richer, Not Poorer - The Money Book for Couplesby Ruth HaydenAnd if you like our personal take on money and relationships, try:4 Weeks to a Financially Blissful Relationship eCourseby Lori and Bob HollanderSome of our couples read a chapter at a time to each other - a great way to spend quality time together and connect what you are learning to your own relationship.