Taking Your Relationship to Extraordinary in 2010: Part III – Authentic Communication

Did you resolve this New Years to take your relationship to the next level?(If you didn't, it's not too late.)Our January Relationship Recharge posts focus on the four critical areas needed to achieve extraordinary: Emotional Intimacy, Money Matters, Authentic Communication, and Erotic Connection.Part III: Authentic CommunicationCommunicating authentically is vital to creating and maintaining a deeply loving connection. Martin Luther King, Jr., one of the great communicators of our time said, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."Knowing, loving and supporting your partner is achieved by genuinely expressing your thoughts and feelings and actively listening to his or hers. This sets the stage to embrace any conflict that may arise with confidence and trust.KnowingAre the two of you committed to the practice of communicating on a regular basis in good times and bad? Have you created a safe environment for authentic communication and a deep "knowing" of each other?

"...have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us."-Sara Paddison

LovingAre authentic, honest feelings expressed directly and received without judgment? Do you work together to gain an understanding of each other's perceptions? When you disagree do you validate and accept each other's viewpoints?

"If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person's place and to see things from his point of view - as well as your own."-Henry Ford

SupportingDo you support each other by speaking clearly, listening patiently, hearing the feelings behind the words, asking for clarification? Do you focus on understanding before you respond?

"Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing."-Rollo May

Authentic communication from the heart - real, honest and sincere - is the only path to a truly intimate relationship.To support you in communicating authentically, we have a few recommendations:Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Loveby Sue JohnsonA Couple's Guide to Communicationby John GottmanAnd if you like our personal take on communicating authentically about money, try:4 Weeks to a Financially Blissful Relationship eCourseby Lori and Bob HollanderSome of our couples read a chapter at a time to each other - a great way to spend quality time together and connect what you are learning to your own relationship.Want more Relationship Recharge? Click here.What's the hardest part about authentic communication in your relationship?