Your Personal Journey to Extraordinary: Don't Forget Your Provisions

During this past month, we took you on a ride down Extraordinary Relationship Lane, where we visited the three critical stops along your journey to move your partnership to extraordinary:1) Conscious and Active Co-Creation2) Courageous Awareness and Compassionate Understanding of Self & Partner3) Vital Connection in Head, Heart & HormonesTo help you find and map out your Personal Starting Point, we shared our free 48-question assessment tool, How Close are You to Extraordinary? The assessment results gave you a snapshot of where your relationship is today and illuminated what areas you and your partner might want to focus on first in growing your connection.Before you set off down your own path, it's important to take with you the necessary provisions to sustain yourselves and the relationship. Some of these are in the form of beliefs and some are in the form of skills. Here are the supplies you will need to thrive at each of the critical stops on your journey:1) Conscious and Active Co-CreationBeliefs needed:

• Building a healthy relationship takes awareness and the time, energy and work of both partners.
• Sustaining love over a lifetime results from the daily actions of two partners.
• Above all else, the relationship is the highest priority for both partners.

Skills needed:

• Effective Communication - Listening/Assertiveness
• Conflict Management
• Problem-Solving and Decision-Making

2) Courageous Awareness and Compassionate Understanding of Self & PartnerBeliefs needed:

• Each partner has a part in creating the state of the relationship, whether it is intimately connected, distant or in conflict.
• Partners need to work on understanding, accommodating and accepting their differences, not changing each other's personalities.
• Who we are and how we respond is the cumulative result of the experiences we have in our childhood and adulthood; and, it is important to have insight into how this shapes our perceptions and beliefs.

Skills needed:

• Empathy/Compassion
• Apology/Forgiveness
• Expressing Gratitude

3) Vitally Connected in Head, Heart & HormonesBeliefs needed:

• It is important for partners to communicate during the workday and to connect when at home.
• If there is something one wouldn't do in front of their partner, they should not be doing it.
• Connecting cognitively, emotionally and sexually in an authentic way is vital for a healthy relationship.

Skills needed:

• Authentic/Genuine Communication
• Understanding Emotions and Feelings
• Understanding Sexuality and Eroticism in Long-Term Relationships

As you can see the journey to extraordinary requires knowledge, awareness, insight and practice. All of these skills can be learned with time and patience.We are here to support you in your personal journey. Each Support 360° Resource we've created addresses one or more of the three critical stops along your journey and is founded in the beliefs you'll need for success. Many are focused solely on helping you practice and deepen the skills you'll need at each stop. Most importantly, all will give you greater insight into your relationship, no matter where you and partner are right now.To your relationship,Lori and Bob HollanderWhere do you start on the journey to an extraordinary relationship?Since every relationship is different, there is no one general starting point. Each couple must consider where they stand now and, from that assessment, create their own unique roadmap. In therapy, we help couples create their roadmaps everyday, but we’ve also created a 48-question assessment tool called How Close Are You to Extraordinary? that will give you immediate feedback on where your relationship is now. Plus, recommendations are included for your Personal Starting Point and also the Relationships Work’s resources that will support you in exploring a specific area. Check it out now.